WHAT IS HOLDING YOU BACK FROM BECOMING A BETTER PERSON

Everyone has the moment in their life when they wonder what in the hell I am doing. Where did I go wrong? How did I end up on this path? How can I make things better? Most times we ask ourselves this question, yet we continue on, the daily routine, the same choices, the same social circles. You get through, you survive, another day goes by, another month, another year.

I too have dropped to my knees and asked the good lord why? What do you want from me? Show me the way? I have pleaded my case to the lottery gods, why can it not be me that matches the winning numbers?  How many times have you laid your head down and cried lonely tears over a marriage you know is broken, yet can not find the strength to move on? Financial struggles you have no idea how to fix. We have all reached out to someone yet been shunned, belittled, brokenhearted. Sometimes we look at our children and wonder where we went wrong. What could we have done better? Or sometimes we look at our children and wonder how did they turn out so great, when I could have given more, done more, been so much of a better person.

In life, we are constantly disappointed, we fail, we hurt others and we hurt ourselves. When we look at others who seem to have it all, we wonder why them? Truth be known each and every person has these struggles. The woman with the perfect body you admire, looks in the mirror every day and sees her flaws. That couple you see together and only wish your relationship could be like theirs, well you would never know she feels so lonely at times she cries when no one is looking. She wonders where she is going to pull that one more once of energy to care for her family, take care of everyone’s needs, keep up her home and be the perfect wife, the perfect mom. She knows she has lost herself in the process but pushes on. She is woman. And that husband, well he feels his wife pulling away but doesn’t know how to reach out, doesn’t know how to say he is scared, that he too is overwhelmed, and needs comfort and encouragement. He remains silent, cause he is a man and he has been taught he is the caretaker, he needs to figure it all out on his own. He is a man. The single mom who will sacrifice all for her children. Every ounce of her questioning each choice she makes. Was I selfish, can I be it all for my children? Did I show my children the right way when I decided to not stay in that broken marriage? Could I have tried harder? The single fathers, who no one sees crying tears of sorrow cause he misses being a part of his kids everyday life and feels forgotten. He wonders could he have been a better man, a better husband, a better father. The parents, who children are grown, have moved on and started their own lives. Just hoping for a phone call, a hello, a simple I love you. Knowing their adult children are busy but longing to be a part of the lives of the children they lived and breathed for, in which to them seemed not so long ago. 

Truth be told there is no perfect person. No perfect life. When we look at others who seem to have it all, we are only looking at the surface. Each and every person has a struggle. Some simply hide it better than others.

So how can we be a better person? We can all stop judging others from the surface. We can all love one another more. We can stop asking friends and loved ones simply “How are you?” and truly ask, “Please, tell me really How Are You?” We can stop judging ourselves so harshly, stop criticizing ourselves, stop letting your mind be over run with all the would haves, should haves, and could haves. Move forward, never backward. Make each day is a new better day. Stop letting fear of failure, fear of rejection hold you back. Realize this path you are on is your path. The scenery may not be what you expected, the bumps at times may be hell and the road may seem to be forever winding but the journey is what we are here for. You may never win the lottery, you may never find that perfect balance in life. Your family, your children, your friends will never be in perfect harmony. But if you truly look around and open yourself up, we can all make this journey a little easier for everyone by just being a better person to one another and especially to yourself.