WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BABY? THOSE LAST SPECIAL MOMENTS YOU MISS IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE

As my children have grown older I sometimes struggle with remembering all the little details of them growing up. As parents we reflect back and say it seems just like yesterday I was holding them in my arms, or they were just under my feet and I blinked my eyes and now they are teenagers or off to college. This is true, it really does go by very fast.

I have enjoyed and relished in every phase of children’s life. In the moment though you do not realize how the little things that you do in their life  just suddenly stop or disappear. When you bring home your newborn and every waking, breathing minute is dedicated to feedings, burping, diaper changes and mind exhausting worries of why are they crying. But than one morning you wake up and realize the sun is coming up and your precious bundle slept through the entire night. Of course after you experience sheer panic and run to make sure child is safe and sleeping soundly, a sigh of relief your baby is sleeping through the night!

With that in mind I think back to when other things just stopped one day and I barely noticed. When was the last day I walked holding his little hand to cross the street, or when was the last night that he called mommy in to read him a bed time story. What day all of a sudden was my TV not tuned into Elmo, cartoon network, or Disney movies. When was the last night my child crawled up in my lap to snuggle up with me in his zipped up PJ’s.  I can’t recall the last day mommy turned into just mom. The last lullaby sang, the last boo boo kissed, the last piggy back ride or the last butterfly kiss.

My children are well past all these stages, I adore watching them grow into young people, thoughts and ideas of their own and plans for their future.  I look forward to seeing what they will achieve in their life and continued independence. But If I had only known that each of those moments, on that day would have been the last time, the last moment, you can bet I would have snuggled a bit longer, read that bed time story over again and held his hand a little bit tighter. I would have sang the lullaby a little sweeter, kissed the boo boo a few extra times and would have said call me mommy one last time.

These are the little things that you wake up one day and don’t even realize your child doesn’t need any longer. You don’t realize because you have moved onto the next exciting stage your child is going through. So, if you are lucky enough to still have little ones, enjoy all the little things cause one day it will be the last day, just like that, in a blink of the eye.

WHAT IS HOLDING YOU BACK FROM BECOMING A BETTER PERSON

Everyone has the moment in their life when they wonder what in the hell I am doing. Where did I go wrong? How did I end up on this path? How can I make things better? Most times we ask ourselves this question, yet we continue on, the daily routine, the same choices, the same social circles. You get through, you survive, another day goes by, another month, another year.

I too have dropped to my knees and asked the good lord why? What do you want from me? Show me the way? I have pleaded my case to the lottery gods, why can it not be me that matches the winning numbers?  How many times have you laid your head down and cried lonely tears over a marriage you know is broken, yet can not find the strength to move on? Financial struggles you have no idea how to fix. We have all reached out to someone yet been shunned, belittled, brokenhearted. Sometimes we look at our children and wonder where we went wrong. What could we have done better? Or sometimes we look at our children and wonder how did they turn out so great, when I could have given more, done more, been so much of a better person.

In life, we are constantly disappointed, we fail, we hurt others and we hurt ourselves. When we look at others who seem to have it all, we wonder why them? Truth be known each and every person has these struggles. The woman with the perfect body you admire, looks in the mirror every day and sees her flaws. That couple you see together and only wish your relationship could be like theirs, well you would never know she feels so lonely at times she cries when no one is looking. She wonders where she is going to pull that one more once of energy to care for her family, take care of everyone’s needs, keep up her home and be the perfect wife, the perfect mom. She knows she has lost herself in the process but pushes on. She is woman. And that husband, well he feels his wife pulling away but doesn’t know how to reach out, doesn’t know how to say he is scared, that he too is overwhelmed, and needs comfort and encouragement. He remains silent, cause he is a man and he has been taught he is the caretaker, he needs to figure it all out on his own. He is a man. The single mom who will sacrifice all for her children. Every ounce of her questioning each choice she makes. Was I selfish, can I be it all for my children? Did I show my children the right way when I decided to not stay in that broken marriage? Could I have tried harder? The single fathers, who no one sees crying tears of sorrow cause he misses being a part of his kids everyday life and feels forgotten. He wonders could he have been a better man, a better husband, a better father. The parents, who children are grown, have moved on and started their own lives. Just hoping for a phone call, a hello, a simple I love you. Knowing their adult children are busy but longing to be a part of the lives of the children they lived and breathed for, in which to them seemed not so long ago. 

Truth be told there is no perfect person. No perfect life. When we look at others who seem to have it all, we are only looking at the surface. Each and every person has a struggle. Some simply hide it better than others.

So how can we be a better person? We can all stop judging others from the surface. We can all love one another more. We can stop asking friends and loved ones simply “How are you?” and truly ask, “Please, tell me really How Are You?” We can stop judging ourselves so harshly, stop criticizing ourselves, stop letting your mind be over run with all the would haves, should haves, and could haves. Move forward, never backward. Make each day is a new better day. Stop letting fear of failure, fear of rejection hold you back. Realize this path you are on is your path. The scenery may not be what you expected, the bumps at times may be hell and the road may seem to be forever winding but the journey is what we are here for. You may never win the lottery, you may never find that perfect balance in life. Your family, your children, your friends will never be in perfect harmony. But if you truly look around and open yourself up, we can all make this journey a little easier for everyone by just being a better person to one another and especially to yourself.